Dallas Darling, Can You Cum Here?

Let me tell you about how I met Dallas. 

I wasn't sure I wanted to share this information, but I can't be selfish - not when the love story is this good. 

I was in my early 20's and on a post-breakup shopping spree in search for a much needed orgasm. I had walked into Honey Birdette and ventured to the back of the store where all the tantalising goodies were just waiting for their time to shine. 

There he was – sitting pretty in pink on an illuminated shelf. 

I knew that once I made eye contact with him there was no turning back. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him. He was mine. 

That very night, Dallas and I had our first encounter. He told me what kind of man he was and how he would treat me right, he said all the right things to me. He told me he had a rotating tip to hit all the right spots, 5 different levels of intensity so we could go from tender lovin' to cowboy riding in seconds and 5 different patterns to mix it up and keep it juicy. 

He wanted to prove to me that he wasn’t just all talk, so we decided to take the next step in our relationship and get intimate. I saw stars that night; and a few cosmic eruptions. That was over three years ago I haven't looked back since.

Not only does Dallas prove himself time after time, he's also a generous lover. He doesn't get jealous when we introduce others to the party nor does he get stage fright – he's a true performer. He just knows how to keep the spark alive and keep me coming back for more.  I was truly blessed. 

I love you, Dallas – until death do us part.